Funny things in my pantry…

Ok… This is a short one. Think about some of theses names! They are really funny!

Grape nuts, Quinoa, water crackers, pure mountain honey, olive oil, tuna, salmon, kidney beans, Cracker Jack, cocoa roasted al nods, dark chocolate pomegranate, turkey jerky, chocolate chips, graham crackers, granola bar, truffle olive oil, white vinaigrette, balsamic vinegar, popcorn, dried cranberry, chocolate pudding, thai noodles and twinkles!

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The last one is really a joke for parties. I’m ready for the zombie apocalypse! I did try one and they didn’t taste like what I remember as a kid.

Then there is the cooking equipment. My old blender from college, hand emulsifier ( we will not go where I could go with the jokes about that!) steamer, food processor and ice cream maker ( special shout out to a great fan that bought that for me!).

I started this entry cause I was cracking up about the name Grape Nuts. Would a guy buy them and say ‘ I had Grape Nuts for breakfast’ ? Let me know your thoughts!


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Pussy and Ass Pops For Sale!

I sell pussy pops for my lucky buyers to lick and suck. What is a pussy pop? Well you can see clearly enough from the pictures.

(recipe) First I suck and lick them all over, to make them wet, then I trace them slowly over my pussy lips, and even my clit, which always gives me a nice tingle. By now, my pussy is starting to get wet, and this is when I push the lollypop into my pussy. I move it around so that it gets covered all over in my lovely fresh juices. It’s sticky enough already, and just gets stickier in my pussy. When I am sure it is well coated, I pull it out and wrap it up at once, to preserve all my sweet goodness for my buyer to enjoy.

So when you open the package and put the pussy pop in your mouth, you know it’s come straight from my pussy to you! And you can savor the evidence, mixed with the candy flavor.

I also sell ass pops. These lollypops have been in my tasty little asshole while I twist them around, making sure they collect my ass taste. I wrap them up as soon as they come out. Just imagine, you could be tasting treats straight from my pussy and ass, simply by placing an order! If you haven’t tried it before, you could be in for a lovely surprise!

Special requests: contact me and ask.

Falafel Hot Sauce

I’m a huge advocate of what I call “clean eating.” The less processed the food, the better. This is one of the many reasons I adore farmers’ markets. These local venues are great places to purchase fresh, healthy food directly from the farmer or grower.

 

Recipe for falafel hot sauce

Ingredients
2 large chopped tomato’s
1/4 cup water
1/2 teaspoon harissa or hot sauce
2 cloves garlic, pressed
1 teaspoon lemon juice
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, finely chopped

Preparation
In a medium saucepan, combine all ingredients. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat to low and allow to simmer for 15 -20 minutes.

Serve falafel hot sauce immediately as a dip for falafel or drizzle onto falafel pita sandwich.

Vegan Pumpkin Chili Empanadas

-For the Filling:

  • 2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
  • 1 Large Onion, Diced
  • 3 Cloves of Garlic, Minced
  • 1 1/2 Cup Red or Orange Bell Pepper, Diced
  • 1 cup Tomato, Diced
  • 2 Cups Cooked Pumpkin, Chopped
  • 1 14 oz. Soak & Cook Day Before Black Beans
  • 1-8 oz. Boiled down Fresh Tomato’s
  • 1 Jalapeño, Minced
  • 2 tsp. Chili Powder
  • 1 1/2 tsp. Dried Cilantro
  • 1 tsp. Smoked Paprika
  • 1 tsp. Cumin
  • 1/2 tsp. Cayenne Pepper
  • 1/2 tsp. Sea Salt
  • 1/4 tsp. Black Pepper

Directions:

Heat olive oil in a large pan over medium. Once hot place onions and garlic in pan and cook until the onions are clear, making sure to stir almost constantly. Next, add the bell pepper, tomato and pumpkin to the onions; saute together for roughly 5 minutes. Drain the can of black beans and rinse them, then add them to the pan along with the tomato paste, jalapeño, and spices. We are not introducing extra liquid into the chili so that it does not make the crust soggy or hard to pick up once baked.

I sliced all my pumpkin with a potato peeler for quicker easier cooking.

For the crust I used a recipe called “Super Easy DIY Pockets“, the only changes that I made to the recipe were that I quadrupled the recipe, used whole wheat flour   added turmeric for the orange tint to the dough. I rolled out the dough into 7″ circles that were about 1/8″ thick, then placed them into my little pastry folder-over and filled them with about 1/2 cup of the pumpkin chili. The one below is a bit too full!

 

Check out my Pintrest Recipes